Why I started martial arts

Why I Started Martial Arts

Before martial arts, I was always putting things aside because I felt that I had no purpose. Even though it has been at least two years since I started taekwondo, I could visually remember my life for most of middle school. At first I would stare at the computer and tell myself, one more minute. Soon that minute became ten, thirty, and then it was enough time for my computer to die. As I stared at a blank screen that no longer told me what I was supposed to do, I also chose to not do anything about it. During this time in my life I have never felt any pressure since my only concern was also the one thing I assumed I would always be good at without trying. School was not only an effortless part of my life, it was also the only time in the past where I should’ve meant something. In a classroom with people I still couldn’t recognize after almost a full year, it seemed like only my teacher knew my name. When it came to my last year of middle school, I started to not dream for the same good grades to be given to me. Rather, I instead wished for randomness and to feel curiosity for the first time in years.

Apophenia

Now at this point of my writing, I want to define the heading so you could connect it to my previous paragraph above. Apophenia is our tendency to search for patterns or significance in things that are considered to be random or a coincidence. This could be seen in stories where they notice animals or faces in clouds. My reason for including this is because it also led me to start martial arts. 

Martial arts was something that remained unfamiliar to me until I started to desire change. Instead of just choosing to fill the space– which was usually spent doing meaningless tasks on my phone– I wanted to also enjoy it. Sports that were common by the people around it such as basketball or volleyball have never really been my interest because all required being in a group. Even today I still prefer to be alone instead of working as a group (unless it was a group project with my friends) because I spent my whole life working ahead of others. The way I found my solution on what to do may seem unexpected and even an answer you wouldn’t want if you asked yourself the same questions I did: 

What was the point of being different if there are superficially hundreds of millions of people who are actively attempting to do the same? If humans are inherently social, why should I wish to find my identity alone rather than being in a group– or team since I am currently thinking about sports– meant for me?

I found these answers not from any sort of literature about existentialism, such as Albert Camus’s The Myth of Sisyphus, but while doomscrolling on Tiktok. Martial arts became something I wanted to love simply because I found an edit about CJ Nickolas, a taekwondo practitioner, who was fighting someone. I did not become interested because I saw violence, but because I realized I could experience excitement from a sport that lets you do it alone. 

Apophenia best described my decision to find meaning in my life with martial arts because of how little I knew when I chose to start. Usually, if I were to start something new, specifically a new lesson in math, I would study over and over again. Martial arts was different because I wanted to get out of my comfort zone by doing something considered different and maybe even difficult. This need to improve myself with martial arts was heightened with skills I already had such as high concentration and creativity. After some convincing about how taekwondo would be the best for me with some research, they soon agreed and I was going to start in a few weeks.

Why I Continued

When I am writing this last part of my blog, it feels like a huge timeskip from a fanfiction. Although I might consider writing a little bit of my experience, it is not required since the prompt is “Why I Started Martial Arts (and Why I Stayed)”. 

Throughout my time, I felt like giving up several times. One of these times, which was after a few months of training, I wanted to quit because of the pressure that accumulated over time. School was and has always been my main focus, so whenever I had to skip my parents found a reason to be convinced I wanted to quit. Even though I was heavily discouraged by my parents– which was for the obvious reason, I did not have the strength nor time– my friends from middle school and the instructors said otherwise. With their unwavering support since the day I started, I worked hard during my two years. Not only did I gain confidence through practicing poomsae for hours, it led me to choose taekwondo as a sport I wanted to pursue. Learning while teaching others made me feel important because it made me seem like I finally meant something even if this importance was in one room with ten other people watching me.

During my last few months of being able to do taekwondo, it was also at this time that I felt the most motivated while also doing my best at aspects I assumed I would always be worst at. Hajime no Ippo is an anime about boxing that taught me many things about determination and even about myself. Even today when I finished watching about a year ago, it is still an important part of who I am. To end this blog, I would like to dedicate it to a character who has shown resilience and has inspired me to keep doing my best in martial arts: Volg Zangief.

His story starts as being poverty-stricken in a poor area in Russia. As his mother started to struggle due to her illness, this is when he wished to be strong. There was a scene that I often think about (I also made an edit with this scene). When he went outside to get help for his mother, he found a wolf staring at him with no struggle against the snow and wind. This inspires me to continue working hard because not only was this the moment he wanted to become a boxer, it was similar to how I felt whenever I felt that I was behind while doing taekwondo. It changed how I acted during taekwondo and outside of taekwondo because I realized that I needed to do something about my flaws.

His signature move, White Fang, is similar to a wolf’s bite because it combines an uppercut and an overhand. This same combination was used throughout his career and even during his world championship. Another reason why he inspires me is because of his determination seen through this. Although he suffered loss in the boxing ring and when he returned to Russia, where he found that his mother passed away, he continued to use this move that was inspired by the wolf that was able to withstand extreme cold.

—Julia Martin